Rob – I can’t trust my own opinion either. That’s a good way to put it.

Ello – thanks!

Taffiny – thanks for the comments. You win the commenter of the week award! “my editing is slightly different, and I have no idea which way is better, that drives me NUTS.” that happens to me too. Actually, the more times I read something the more I find wrong and change.

No One of Consequence – good luck with the editing process. I’ll follow your posts on your blog to see how you’re doing.

When I start to hear clinks, and then clanks, in what I have written, then the whole thing begins to fall apart, and trying to read it does indeed become torture. As each word seems to stand out, sore and alone, awkwardly forced to stand next to some other oddball word (on and on in never ending anti-social line). All flow is lost, and so is story.
On the other hand, there are times, when I enjoy reading my work, because I already know the story, and how it is supposed to feel, and I read it with that part of me, not at all dependent on how well it is written, and I feel flow, as it hums and sings through me.

My problem is, I need to be able to hear the clinks and clanks, and yet hold the words/sentences/ideas/story together, and not let it all become an incoherent jumble to me, to where I lose my sense of how it supposed to be. If I can’t do that, I wont be able to work on it, and improve it. I also need to work with what is actually written not some internal sense of the story, that floats happily above, and beyond the words, sentences, plot structure, that is actually there. As that is not at all helpful for improving my writing either.

I love it when I hear/write something and it sounds right, feels right. But when I read over something, and each time, my wording, my editing is slightly different, and I have no idea which way is better, that drives me NUTS. (Does that happen to you?)

I hope you don’t always loathe reading your work. (Aren’t there actors like that, they can’t stand watching the movies and shows they are in?). You are on a really good track. You are in a writing group. You are brave enough to share your work (there and here, and elsewhere) and get feedback and work on your stuff. Hopefully the process will become more pleasant/easier for you over time.

Sometimes I write something I think is great, and it gets no reaction at all. Other times I won’t be happy with the finished piece and other people really seem enjoy it. So I really can’t trust my own opinion, it seems.

The way I got over it was by redrafting my short stories, lots, over and over; after a while I started to really enjoy the process of taking something that’s a bit meh and making it better.

Actually. Now I read this back it sounds lame. But it really did work for me.