Remember the writing contest I have been touting at The Clarity of Night? Well, I misinterpreted the deadline and didn’t get a submission finished in time. For some reason I was thinking 12 noon instead of 12 midnight. Oh well, I don’t think I would have finished anyway. I planned on working on my submission Tuesday night, but our six-week-old had a rough night of crying. I started to beat myself up about not getting my submission complete, but I have decided it is ok. Also, I am going to post three of my incomplete attempts below, even though I’m not particularly proud of them. At least I will be able to prove to you, dear reader, that I have attempted to do some writing.
Anyhow, here are my three attempts, unedited. My comments are in italics.
- Jason raised his head to the sky, noticing through squinting eyes the darkness of the night, as though the sky had witnessed night’s events and lacked the energy to display the moon and stars. He had pushed his body further than he thought humanly possible.As he walked the long road home, a cold night wind rose up behind Jason, giving him a wiff of the sweat and saliva that now covered his tattered, ale covered shirt. The night would be talked about for years, though Jason wished it had never happened.
Though he refused to admit it, Jason had feared Billy. Young, wild, and quite possibly mentally unstable, Billy didn’t just defeat his opponents, he demoralized them.
This entry was going to be a funny one. I was trying to lead the reader to believe Jason was involved in some type of battle, when in fact it was just a game of beer pong. Obviously I failed.
- Jason staggered down the rain soaked cobblestone streets taking great care not to stumble. By his estimates he had consumed a few dozen beers that night, and the least thing he needed right now was to add misery by tumbling in the bushes. Jason wasn’t afraid of embarrassment; as there was not a soul, save the mosquitoes, about that night. Rather he feared he was so dizzy he wouldn’t be able to recover from a fall on the stones.As he continued his drunken journey home, Jason glanced up at the sky noticing how dark it was that night, as though the sky had decided it was too much energy to bring out the moon and stars and instead brought out some tired old clouds. “That’s odd,” thought Jason to himself as he peered at the power lines, “I never noticed how much a Transformer looks like a person in this light.”He hadn’t meant to drink so much that night, but who could blame a guy whose girlfriend had just dumped him. To make matters worse, her new boyfriend kept challenging him in beer pong and the guy was really terrible at it. Before he knew it, Jason won ten games in a row and his ex was gone.
I was going to edit the beginning of this one, with a slight build up and eventually ending with Jason being chased in the street and attacked.
Jason never enjoyed the lonely walk home from the bar. Ever since he moved to the city, he could not shake the tingling feeling in his spine that he was being watched. Tonight it was especially unsettling, as though the streets themselves had decided to drop their benign charade and instead revel in their true evil nature. Jason quickened his pace as he passed under the power lines
As he staggered over the rain soaked cobblestone street, Jason glanced up at the sky noticing how dark it was that night, as though the sky had decided it was too much energy to bring out the moon and stars and decided instead to cover itself in a sinister blanket of clouds.
This one was similiar to the second entry. I didn’t have the time to complete it.
So, I had a few things working against me. One was time. I just didn’t have the time to complete any of these entries. More importantly, though, I don’t think I liked the premise enough to finish. I just didn’t care enough about the stories. Good luck to all who entered the contest.