Well, I read all 44 entries of the Vision Contest over at The Moon Topples, and I am proud to say I emailed my votes. I even re-read my submission, which I rarely do once I have submitted a piece. Oh well. I will still share my entry with you all once they are public. I like my story, but the writing needed some work. You’ll see.
Anyhow, voting is open to the public until midnight tonight via comments of each post. It’s not too late to do you part. And really, that’s what our founding fathers would have wanted.
We had a particularly sleepless night with our daughter last night, who woke up at 4:00 AM and didn’t fall asleep until around 5:30 AM. The mind tends to wander in these moments, trying desperately to figure out why in the world it is awake at that ungodly hour. In this cloud of uncertainty, a thought came into my head, an invention so groundbreaking that we could finally achieve world piece. Or something like that.
Here is my invention: Central Beer. Think about it. We had central heat, then central air came along, then central vacuum cleaning. The next logical step on that evolutionary ladder is clearly Central Beer. Imagine every room of your house equipped with a little beer tap in the wall, just waiting for you to pour yourself a frosty one. For those of you who don’t like alcohol, I guess they could even make Central Pop (soda) or something like that. The point is, we shouldn’t have to leave the room just because we’re thirsty! We can put a man on the moon, so surely we can pump beer through drywall.
I’d imagine this type of system would be pretty pricy, so of course not everyone would be able to afford it. However, it give us working poor something to shoot for, something to dream about when we are picturing ourselves as finally published authors, bringing in the cash like Steven King.
If this has already been invented then I think that every person who was ever on MTV Cribs should be arrested, because I have never seen Central Beer on that show. What says pure extravagance more than Schlitz served cold from a tap in your bathroom.