Sad and a Story

As I posted last week, my parent’s Collie, Cinnamon, wasn’t doing well. They told me last night that they had to put her to sleep, which was an extremely difficult decision for them. Unfortunately, Cinnamon was no longer able to stand on her own, wasn’t eating, and wasn’t even drinking any water. In other words, she was suffering. My parents told me she went peacefully, which I guess is all you could hope for. Once it was over, the drove her home from the vet’s office and buried her under one of the trees in the back yard she used to love to run around in, just before the storm came. As I said in the post last week, I was still living at home when my parents brought Cinnamon home from a farm, the runt of the litter tiny enough to sit between my sister and I in the back seat of my parent’s car. We had some good times together, Cinnamon and I, so it will take a while to get used to her not being there when I visit home. At least I was able to see her one last time.

In my writing life, I got back on the horse after losing the contest at The Clarity of Night and continued my time-travel story over at Ficlets. The (not so) brief synopsis of the story is this: Sam is having a crummy life made even worse when he breaks up with his girlfriend. Sam then sees an ad for a time machine on ebay, makes a bid, and picks up the device in a town known for explosions. Sam is driving away when a wall of flames is approaching his car, so he uses the time machine sending him 2 weeks in the past. Unfortunately his car doesn’t make the journey and he is stranded.

Luckily, Sam is picked up by a mysterious guy named Jonathan Spokes who takes him into town, dropping him off at his girlfriend’s house (where his past self is). Where the story left off is that Sam tells his past self not to break up with his girlfriend and then Sam realizes he has lost the time machine. Here is the next part of the story. If you have any time, please give it a read and let me know what you think of this part or the whole story (positive or negative, I don’t mind either way). I could really use it today. Remember, I only had 1024 characters to work with. Read the start of the story here.

Time Keeps on Slippin’

A few yards up the road Sam noticed a boy no more than 10 years old riding a bicycle with a metal halo on his head.

“Hey kid, where’d you get that?” said Sam jogging toward the boy.

“I wanted a bike for Christmas but Mom said we didn’t have any money so then I asked for it for my birthday but she said no again but then she got a new boyfriend and they told me they wanted me to play outside so then..” said the kid.

“Not the bike,” said Sam. “The thing on your head.”

“Oh, I found it over there,” said the boy pointing at the stoop outside Amy’s apartment. “It’s my new helmet. It’s way cooler than my old one.”

“Yeah, well it’s mine,” said Sam reaching lunging toward the kid. “Didn’t your Mom ever tell you about stealing?”

“Gotta catch me first,” said the boy as he began riding circles around Sam. “Hey, what does this button do?”

“No! Don’t!” said Sam, but it was too late. The child was gone.

Dejected, Sam started the long walk into town. “Never too early to start drinking,” he thought to himself.

7 thoughts on “Sad and a Story

  1. Good story…though do you know that’s the title of a Futurama episode? I was about to say it was a PKD story, but that’s ‘Time out of Joint’.
    Both are great titles and a little bit of accidental (or knowing) intertextuality is all fun.
    Still….I kind of like it. There’s something about these space limited narratives that lead to really nice, concise and almost terse prose.
    Is good.

  2. Alabaster – thanks for the comment. I didn’t know it was a title of a Futurama episode. I was referencing Steve Miller Band (“Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’, into the future”), but if it makes you think of Futurama, that is ok too.

    As far as the concise and terse prose, I do agree the limited space does have a lot to do with this, though I think concise prose is my style in general, something I’m struggling with in writing my novel.

  3. Aaah. Okay, that’s presumably what the episode was referencing. Your good, You’ll just get knowing glances from the Futurama Generation.

    Good luck writing a concise novel. I can’t do it. I was discussing this with a colleague yesterday, but some of the best novels you almost sense that not a word is wasted…and that’s good writing.
    Lucks.

  4. Thanks Karen. It’ll be ok. I talked to my parents this weekend and it is taking some getting used to, but they are ok. Their routine has just changed (they no longer have to take care of the dog) 😦

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s