Roller Shoes

I would like to take a moment this morning and discuss something that I believe is of the utmost importance to the futurerollerusa_rollershoe.jpg of this country. Sure, that whole war on terror thing is important, but I’m not talking about that. Instead I’m talking about the Roller Shoe.

Have you seen these things? It is literally a shoe with wheels on the bottom, made only for kids. Yeah, you heard that right. While I’m expending all my energy like a chump moving from place to place having to lift my feet as I walk, kids can simply flip a switch and glide to where ever they are going.

In my mind, these shoes are a great thing. Who wouldn’t want to have roller skates at the disposal, available at one’s whim? So, why aren’t they available to adults? It’s so obvious. Kids are ruling the world, but we haven’t noticed it yet. I can come up with no other conclusion. So next time you are at the McDonalds getting a happy meal, or at the Chucky Cheese playing some video games, or reading your child a goodnight story, be extra nice because they are in fact in charge of things now. Plus, they have wheels on their shoes! They could totally outrun your sorry old butt (This is just a generalization. Not all of you have sorry old butts).

3 thoughts on “Roller Shoes

  1. I think the other brandname of these is called Wheelies. I think the ‘sorry, old butt’ demographic is still safe. One is more likely to fall on foot wear with wheels. You can only go as fast as gravity and the slope let’s you. Old butts have drivers licenses and legal access to cars.

    Young people are going to have to find another way to rule the world. For now, it’s still the sorry, old butts ruling it. (cue the evil laughter and menacing organ music)

    -sj

  2. For the record, those things have one of the highest injuries rates of all other toys for kids. Lots of sprained wrists, banged up knees, forget to stop and roll into traffic concussions. Don’t forget the elbow pads and helmet.

    The product really more proves that adults rule the world by creating a product that guarantees that the more reckless kids get taken care of at a younger age.

  3. Mike, you forget I play ice hockey. I’m used to falling on my head, etc. In fact I enjoy it (maybe not).

    I am serious, though. I would buy these things in a second. I also realize I’m in the minority there and that’s why they don’t make them for adults.

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