Well, I decided to be brave today and post my first cut at an opening paragraph to my novel in progress. What I’m seeking is a little feedback. Does the paragraph catch your attention? Would you want to read more? Is there anything there that really doesn’t work or turns you off? I’m not particularly interested in grammar, though if there is something glaring there, please let me know. Please take a few moments and give it a read. I would like to stress again this is a first draft. Anyhow here is the excerpt:
“The only way to rid humanity of disease is to eradicate humanity” read the first and only line of Number 43’s report, and Owen sat staring at his computer screen, stunned silent for the first time in his life. This was bad, very bad. Unfortunately, there was no way he could risk sharing this information with Steven, his friend and only human co-worker. If one machine heard them discussing the report they would all know about it, including Number 43, and all hope would be lost. Instead, Owen decided he would go about his daily business of pretending to be busy, warming his seat, and annoying Steven. He would also have an alcoholic drink or ten at lunch. Some days it just doesn’t pay to be human, Owen thought, even when being human is the primary reason you are paid.
The Struggling Writer 