Thanks for all the great advise about my first paragraph of my novel in progress. I’m glad you all seemed to enjoy it. There were some great comments too and I will consider all the suggestions. I do think I’m going to put the first bit of the first sentence in its own sentence to add more emphasis. These are the little things that I’m still learning about. Also, I’m going to try to spread some of the information out so I don’t overwhelm the reader. I don’t have to put all the hooks in the first paragraph, after all 🙂
Let’s see now, if I post one paragraph here a week for you all to critique, I should be done by the time I’m 60! Anyhow, I’m excited to work on this and if I ever do finish the novel I plan on posting it online.