No Dice

Well, my little Zombie story, Tastes Like Brains, didn’t win any awards over at The Clarity of Night. I’m a little disappointed, but that’s OK. Congratulations to all of the winners. You surely deserve it.

I was third runner up in the Reader’s Choice category, so thanks to all you readers who voted for me. I’m glad you all enjoyed my story. (congrats to Sarah Hina for winning the Reader’s Choice award). Now that I think about it, it is a pretty huge honor that all the readers liked my story enough to vote for it, out of 70+ entries. I wonder how close I was? 🙂

Now on to other matters. I finally took the time to read over the comments my writing group made on Chapter 1 of my NaNoWriMo novel. I even began draft 2 using these suggestions. I was actually feeling down on my story because I have so many questions/problems with it, but my fellow writers had such constructive suggestions, I now feel invigorated by it.

Here is an example of one of my edits. My original line was:

“There are few things in life that will bring a family closer together than sharing a car for fifteen hours.”

I like the “idea” here, but not the wording. For some reason, I couldn’t put my finger on what the problem was.

Here is the edited line:

“Few things in life will bring a family closer together than sharing a car for fifteen hours.”

There isn’t a huge difference between the two lines, but I like the second one so much more. This is what I needed, a second set of eyes to just give me a nudge in the right direction (well, the eyes weren’t nudging me, but you know what I mean).

Unrelated to this, I’ve been interview by Julie K. Rose for a podcast about music and writing. I will let you know when the podcast hits the web. You won’t actually hear my voice, rather Julie will be reading my answers mixed with my music selections. Still, it should make a fun listen.



9 thoughts on “No Dice

  1. I see now the difference between the two versions of the same line. I think the second feels much more fresh and easier to read.
    In comparison to the second one, the first feels somehow clumsy. I hope you’re not offended by this, Paul. I mean, if I wrote the first line I would not be able to spot its uneasiness, either.
    Besides, when I first read it, it felt quite fine.
    I feel I’m getting trouble in explaining my ideas about it….

    sometimes you have to get a farther view on things to see them more clearly.

  2. I could have sworn I commented on this but maybe I’m having a ‘senior moment’ and forgot.

    I’m sorry you didn’t win outright but 3rd runner up is pretty good and you know you got our votes anyway.

    As for the edit, maybe it’s a case of ‘less is more’ and more succinct will win the day?

    My iPod is waiting for your podcast….. 🙂

  3. I really liked your story over at Jason’s. In fact, there were many that I liked and truly thought were brilliant. Original, well-crafted, poetic….the whole nine yards. But as with all writing, it comes down to taste. This is the third contest I’ve entered, and I still think that I’ve produced some of the best writing when I do his exercises. I haven’t even placed in any, but I don’t look for that anymore. I’m learning so much about writing from all the different styles. That in itself is worth it, to me.
    Sorry I haven’t linked you yet, but I am now….

  4. I liked your story too! Congrats on getting a Reader’s Choice nod. That’s huge in such an amazing field of entries.

    As for the sentence, the second version is much better. Although I’d leave out the “will” it’s really not needed. Keep it tight. I say this after slogging through edits on a short story where my editor dinged me about a dozen times for using passive. It’s sometimes hard to see in your own work, but easy to see in other’s writing.

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