Budweiser Theorem

My family and I were in Pittsburgh over the weekend, mostly because my wife’s sister had a baby and we wanted to see the bundle of joy. This is my third niece, so that’s pretty neat. Holding the newborn, however, I realized I forgot almost everything I learned in the two years since my daughter was a baby. I have a lot to learn in the next seven months. *Sigh*

While we were there we also attended my father-in-law’s picnic for his karate dojo. There was volleyball, a sprinkler for my daughter to get soaked in, a bunch of food, and a lot of sun. It was a pretty good time.

They also had beer there. Not the type of beer I would say that I enjoy. In fact, they had beer I mostly avoid. They had something something Light and Budweiser. I’m no beer snob, I prefer Sam Adams or Yuengling Lager, but I’ve had nothing but bad experiences with Bud.

This time was different. I’ve been avoiding having beer in my house ever since my we found out my wife was pregnant because I would feel guilty drinking in front of her when she couldn’t have any. Also, I’ve been a bit thrifty with the money lately (for good reasons), and I would be a bit hypocritical spending our money on beer. Anyhow, this time the Budweiser tasted like heaven.

This led me to develop my first theorem, which I call the Budweiser Theorem. Here it is:

The Taste of Budweiser is directly proportional to the Amount of Time Since My Last Beer.

y = kx

y is The Taste of Budweiser

x is Amount of Time Since My Last Beer

k is the coldness of said beer

Feel free to quote me on that. πŸ™‚

11 thoughts on “Budweiser Theorem

  1. It’s an easy to demonstrate theorem. I like it!!!

    Double congratulations are in order!

    Your wife expecting a baby! Wow, that’s wonderful news! All the best to all of you!

    And congratulations for your prize in Jason’s contest! More than well deserved! Yours was an absolutely great story.

  2. Well done on the contest win. You deserved that one!

    And the key to terrible tasting beer like Bud is definitely the ‘k’. The colder your beer is, the less you can taste it, so always make sure to ice it down. I have a case of Kokanee (Canada’s Bud) that someone left at my place, and I haven’t figured out what to do with it. I don’t think there’s enough ice in the world for it. πŸ™‚ (I am a beer snob, I guess)

  3. I like this kind of math. πŸ™‚

    Yes, Paul, congratulations on your placement in Jason’s contest! Yours was definitely the most intriguing take on the photo. And so well written, too.

    I bet you’ll remember the baby stuff when the time comes. But that awe (and fear) at holding a newborn never really subsides.

  4. Vesper – thanks doubly!

    Diane – thank you πŸ™‚ I’m so happy!

    Rob – thanks! You are very correct about the “k”. I forgot to mention that I like Molson. Does that earn me any points?

    Sarah – Thanks πŸ™‚ Congrats to you as well!

  5. Hey, congratulations on your win! I seem to still be constantly flying by the seat of my pants and haven’t had chance to read any of the entries yet!

    I’ve heard bad things about Budweiser, not that I have ever tasted it before. Heh heh, what you said about the beer being cold made me think about British people supposedly liking warm beer. I thought it was so strange when I went to the US that in pubs they put the glasses in the fridge so that they were all frosty (or maybe it was this particular pub). I’ve never encountered that in UK, also the last time I was in UK I was almost rolling around laughing because at my mum’s work they had this water dispenser that had a tap for dispensing lukewarm water! “In case the water from the cold tap is too cold”! You would *never* get that in Australia!

  6. Congratulations to you and your wife on the expected little one! And great job with the contest, too!

    We’re not allowed to bring Budweiser in the house anymore. I never liked them, but I just discovered that I liked the Bud Select. But, we’re not allowed anymore since they sold. 😦 Yeah, it was a lot cheaper than Sam Adams and even Abita (a local beer).

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