The Towel Remains Unthrown – For Now

#nanowrimo moment of truth for me tonight. If I can’t get close to my goal for today, I’m throwing in the towel.

That was a tweet I posted last night through rapidly blinking eyes, just after we got everybody in bed and I settled down at the computer to begin my NaNoWriMo writing for the day, 0 out of 2,000 words written. This wasn’t one of those woe is me posts. I really meant it.

I’m just feeling really exhausted lately. It’s throwing me off a bit. Yes, I quit drinking pop. However, I’m still drinking coffee, so I don’t think it’s a lack of caffeine. Maybe it’s just the 15 days in a row of staying up until midnight. Or maybe it’s the baby waking us at 5:30 AM every morning and the hockey game at 6:30 AM. Whatever it is, I’m running on fumes. Again, that’s just weird because I have conditioned my body to function on very little sleep now that we have kids.

Take the events before I wrote that tweet. Gave the son a bath, played a little wii fit, fought with the daughter over what clothes she would sleep in (she HAS to choose), and then finally I read to my daughter in her bed to get her to sleep. The night’s literary masterpiece was Garfield the Easter Bunny.

I love reading to my daughter, but last night was a struggle. In fact, I fell asleep while reading and wound up dreaming and speaking words that weren’t in the text. I can only imagine what she thought of this, though she must not have noticed because she would have corrected me. Anyhow, once I finished reading, she rolled over and closed her eyes, meaning she was ready to sleep. And I closed my eyes just for a moment, to rest them of course. Eventually, I drug myself out of her bed and trudged to the computer, that word count taunting me.

The only thing keeping me writing right now is my competitive spirit and all of you. I mean I spent the whole of last month talking about NaNoWriMo and getting you all worked up for writing in November. I couldn’t very well give up, not halfway through the month.

I wound up writing 1,700 words somehow. Maybe it was the popsicle power boost. I’d didn’t make it to my daily goal of 2,000, but I got close enough to keep going for another day.

And so it is. I write on. One day at a time. Anticipating the day when I face reality and just give up, but also pushing that fateful day back each time I meet my goal.