Bear with me for a moment. Here comes some honesty.
I may have a bit of trouble judging my own writing, but overall in life I think I’m a pretty good judge of myself. I’m not terribly introspective, but I can be at times. Right now is one of those times.
I tend to try a lot of different things, for one because I really think that makes life interesting. Also, I like to challenge myself and really don’t like to be told I can’t do something. At least not until I’ve tried first. I consider this a virtue in myself. However, in doing a lot of things, I think I spread myself thin. What I’m trying to say, really, is that I’m good at a number of things, but great at few things. Sometimes I wish I was great at one thing. Wouldn’t it be nice to be great at something?
I play hockey in my spare time. I would say I’m good/fair at hockey. I play softball in the summers. I think I’m good at that. I tinker with photoshop in my spare time sometimes. I think I’m good at that. I also write sometimes, and looking at it honestly I think I’m a good writer. Not great.
As far as writing is concerned, I really don’t think good covers it. There are soooo many good writers out there working to be published. So many. There are so few real opportunities to be published. And let’s be honest. Only a few of those who want to be published will actually have it happen. In fact, probably only a percentage of the great writers will ever see their work in print.
Can you learn to be great? Can you become great with enough hard work? If you can become great with enough hard work, do I have the will to do that hard work? I really don’t know.
This is where I’m at today. I might not be there tomorrow, but I’m there right now. At what point do I realize all this banging my head against the keyboard is not for a lack of effort, but really a lack of talent? Am I wasting my time? Is this something I will ever be able to recognize in myself?
Anyhow, thanks for letting me vent here. I’m not fishing for compliments or pep-talks or anything like that. Just trying to get this out of my system. That’s another thing I’m good at, but not great.