Don’t Watch The Super Bowl For The Commercials

I used to watch The Super Bowl because I was a football fan. Actually, looking back on it I can’t say I was ever a football fan. I was pretty much just a Pittsburgh Steelers fan.

For a while there, though, I’d watch the game expecting at least to see a good game. Then, when that because less or less a given, I’d watch “for the commercials”. Now, I just skip the entire thing, and just read about it online the next day.

Think about what the commercial is designed for: to sell you some stuff you don’t really need. To trick your brain into thinking you need that stuff, that it will make you more attractive, that it will make you feel younger, that it will make you happy. But we all know it won’t.

Regular NFL football is bad enough. 3 downs and a punt. Or my favorite, commercial break, kickoff, commercial break. Field goal attempt, commercial break, kickoff, commercial break. The games cost so much for the cable companies to air they have to show us countless commercials, stretching what is one total hour of sports “action” into three hours plus of meh. And the commercials they do show are usually selling horrible beer, or horrible CSI style shows, or horribly violent actions movies, which is fitting, I suppose.

And let’s not get into how sexist and lowest common denominator most of the commercials are. It costs these companies about $4.5 million this year for 30 seconds of ad time during the Super Bowl, so they best be sexist and vapid. That’s what sells potato chips, after all.

I get it. It’s nice to be in the know on Monday morning when everybody is talking about how hilarious the Pepsi commercial was. It was it really? Or was it just amusing compared to the usual crap you are usually subjected to while watching cable television you already pay too much money for?

If you want to laugh, why not skip the entire thing and just watch an actual show (I’ve been watching this British show called Misfits on Hulu, it’s pretty good)? Or watch a movie, or anything else creative people designed for you to enjoy, or hell, even The Big Bang Theory is better than watching a Doritos commercial (just slightly barely, mind you).

And don’t get me started on the Halftime “show”. Again with the entertainment meant for the masses that seems to entertain none.

If you actually enjoy watching football, go ahead and watch the thing. You will be one of the few.