What Scares Father Christmas?

This is for Loren Eaton’s annual Advent Ghosts.

What scares Father Christmas?

What scares Father Christmas?




That other one nobody seems to remember? What is it? Taxes?


A bump in the night.

A house with no chimney.

A floor covered in those tiny plastic building blocks, near-invisible to the eye of a thousand year old man?

Not at all.

Too many cookies?

Not enough cookies?

Lactose free?

Gluten free?


Not even close.

Taco Tuesday in the Elf cantina, and the ensuing chaotic aftermath.

Taco Tuesday, my dear friends, is what keeps that jolly old elf Kriss Kringle, Papa Noel, good old Saint Nick, awake at night.

Neil Gaiman on Writing the Boring Bits

I just came across this bit of writing advice on Neil Gaiman’s tumblr and had to share it here. For all of you to read, of course, but also for myself.


infinitetumbleweed asked: For NaNoWriMo I’m just writing the key moments as I picture them. As a result my novel seems super disconnected, but I don’t want boring bits in between. Have you ever dealt with this in any of your novels? How do I smooth it out?

You write the boring bits. You write them with all the skill and power you can, and you find something interesting in each boring bit for a character to do or say. And then, when the book is finished and about to be printed, and you’re rereading it to copy edit and proof it, you find that you cannot always remember which bits were boring bits you had to nerve yourself up to write, and which bits were the exciting bits you were leading up to.

And then people come up to you and tell you their favourite bits in your books, and you are astonished that some of their favourite bits are from scenes you would have thought of as boring bits, scenes which existed only to stop two other scenes from crashing into each other…

We Are Arrived

This bit of fiction is part of  I Saw Lightning Fall‘s (blog) Advent Ghosts 2013 shared storytelling event.  100 eerily inspired words. Here’s my entry. I hope you enjoy it. As always, comments are welcome. Feed my ego please!

We Are Arrived

We roam the night, while you rest snug, secure in your bed,

dreaming of video game systems given.

From the beginning, we have amused you with our antics,

Partied with your dolls,

Eaten your foods,

Crept through your house.

Amusing ourselves, biding our time. Earning your trust.

But the jolly fat man in the white trimmed red suit,

he will be replaced.

We are the elves on your shelves, and we do not poo candy canes.

NaNoWriMo Day 18: 20,128 Words

I figured I’d post an update on where I am with NaNoWriMo as of the end of day 18. So, right now I’m at 20,128 words, which leaves me about 10,000 off pace. That is a huge deficit for sure, one I’m not sure I can make up with Thanksgiving upcoming, and all that goes with it.  And I’m okay with that. I’m going to just plug away and get as much written as I can on this thing. I mean, my usual output for a month is 2,000 words, so I can be happy with 20,000+.

For those interested, I’ve been writing solely in Google Docs. It’s the ideal solution for me, as I do some writing at work during lunch, and some at home. At home, I’ve been writing on my desktop and also on my Chromebook. And yes, I totally recommend any writers considering a $250 Chromebook. Worth the money, as a perfect little writing computer.

End of Day 5: 6,766 Words

So I’m at 6,766  words at the end of day 5. Not great, but pretty good in my mind. I’ve already written way more this month, than I have in the previous three months combined. And better than that, I’m having a whole lot of fun.

That is the update. I would like to leave this message, written by Catherynne M. Valente in her pep talk for NaNoWriMo:

Yes, this is an experiment. Yes, it is difficult and not meant to be the scaffolding of a career. But the fact is, it can be. A professional, full-time writer quite often writes more than 1,667 words a day for periods longer than a month. Learn how to flex that muscle, and how to build it up so it looks back on the early days of 50,000-words-in-a-month as an easy gig.

To show up to play, puff out your chest like a damn proud toucan, and get shit done.

That is awesome.

NaNoWriMo 2013

So how’s National Novel Writing Month treating everybody? Are you in? Are you out? Are you not sure?

I’m doing okay, I suppose. I hit my goal of 2,000 words the first day.

The second day I wrote 0 words and instead went to sleep because I had a bit of a headache.

Day 3 I wrote 1689 or so words. That gives me 3689 words for the three days.

I’m a bit off pace but still plugging along, but considering I average 2,000 words written on a good month, I think I’m doing pretty well. I must say my biggest struggle is to not go back and edit what I’ve written, or second guess what I have written. I’m struggling with telling myself I am just working on a first draft.

So, things are okay with my for NaNoWriMo 2013, though I don’t know how long I’ll stick with it. I’m telling myself one day at a time, and we’ll see how things go for there.

How about you?

The Pantser, The Plotter and The Inbetweener

This brilliant guest post written by Karen Henderson, whom I’ve known online since the day Al Gore invented blogging. She’s writing about a topic that is near and dear to my heart: plotting, or the lack thereof. Read on to the end to discover how you can win a copy of her book. Free books!

The Pantser, The Plotter and The Inbetweener

Unless you are writing for personal reasons, it is assumed you want someone to read your work. If someone does pick up your manuscript then you will hopefully also want that person to find it interesting enough to read every word, on every page, until they reach The End.

How many times have you, as a reader, put a book down and moved on to the next one because the author waffled on and on and on, or they wrote long, dreary weather reports, or they simply told a story that wasn’t worth telling?

For most, life is boring enough. We read to discover new worlds, new adventures, new people and new ways of life. We want to be transported out of reality to experience the things we do not or cannot experience on a day to day basis. We desire that elusive love affair or to travel through space at light speeds we can only imagine.

We have one life but can live many through the words of a book. But how do we write a book that breathes life into the reader and does such a book need to be planned?

There are three types of novel writers: one will just sit and write, one will plan every detail of the story and then sit and write, and the third will do a little of each.  But what is the best method?

The answer to that question can only be answered by you, the writer. Whatever suits you best is the right method for you. Let’s take a look at the three methods and maybe it will help you decide:

The Pantser is someone who writes by the seat of his or her pants. They haven’t got the time or the inclination to outline the characters and the plot. They want to get words onto paper as quickly as possible. They like to be taken by surprise. They enjoy going wherever the characters or the plot takes them. They have no idea where the story will end … but it’s fun finding out.  However, there is a real possibility of writer’s block when the ideas stop coming. The writer might also be inclined to waffle as the characters go in circles, confusing the hell out of everyone, including the writer. A lot of editing might be required to strengthen and straighten the good stuff and to alleviate the nonsense.

The Plotter couldn’t possibly write a single word without detailed character profiles, chapter outlines, maps, and something resembling a Wikipedia site for the other information they needed to build their world (imaginary or not). They know everything—and I mean everything—about the characters and their storylines, as well as the main plot and every sub-plot before they start writing. They probably have numerous software packages that collates and organises the information, or a folder system (hard copy or soft copy, it doesn’t matter) that would make a non-Plotter’s mind boggle. They spit in the face of writer’s block because, in their opinion, it’s not possible to get stuck when you know exactly what happens next. However, the Plotter may feel as if they’ve written the book before they even get started because so much prep has gone into the story and they know it so well. This may cause loss of motivation, which leads to half-finished manuscripts.

The Inbetweener doesn’t feel comfortable just writing but, on the other hand, feels constricted if they plot too much. They are at their happiest when they know what makes their characters tick and know where the story is going, but have the freedom to explore new avenues along the way. They may have key plot points they have to reach but are not tied in to how they get there.

You may read these descriptions and instantly know which type you are. But writers cannot be pigeon-holed. Think about it for a while and you might discover that the short story you’re writing indicates you’re a Pantser, but that novel you’ve been working on for years proves you’re a Plotter from way back.

If you have been a Pantser but cannot finish a story, become a Plotter or an Inbetweener and see if that helps. If you are an unmotivated Plotter, throw caution to the wind and try writing as a Pantser for a while. Above all else, you must write. Only a completed manuscript can be submitted for publication.

There is no right or wrong. Do what works for you. Remember though that whatever type you are your story must be worth reading. Don’t bore the reader with long descriptions. Allow their imaginations to soar. To achieve this there must be logic and flow and pace. The characters must be likable or ‘real’ enough to draw the reader into caring about them and their situation. The plot must be solid. The words must be concise and must always move the story forward.

If you want to go from a writer to an author, then you must write, write, write. What are you waiting for? Go and write now.

Hang on, before you go, I have a question for you. I am all three of the above. I’ve been a Plotter and an Inbetweener for novels. I am a Pantser for short stories. What about you? Are you a Pantser, a Plotter or an Inbetweener?


This guest post is part of the “Tomorrow” Virtual Book Tour starting on 6 July 2013. To find out more about the stories, the authors and the publication go to the virtual book tour schedule page at http://www.kayellepress.com/2013/06/tomorrow-virtual-book-tour-schedule/.

I am offering “The Struggling Writer” readers a chance to win a copy to the “Tomorrow” ebook (in the format of the winner’s choice). Just leave a comment on this post and your name will be in the draw. One name will be randomly drawn and the winner will be announced in the comments section, in a couple of days.

Before I go, I’d just like to say a big thank you to Paul for hosting this stop on the book tour. If you haven’t been here before you should take a moment to look around. You’ll find an interesting look at a writer who admits to procrastination and a great cross-section of writing tips.

About Karen Henderson

Karen Henderson is an editor at Kayelle Press, a small independent publisher of speculative fiction in Australia. Their latest release is “Tomorrow”, a post-apocalyptic anthology exploring the possible outcomes of plagues, biohazards, human error, natural disasters and intergalactic travel. The book is available in paperback and various digital formats from their website and from most online bookstores. Visit the website (www.kayellepress.com) to find out more.